My past experiences as President of a family business are probably not all that different from your own. My older brother and younger sister were active contributors to our business for years.

Together we built a company that was, indeed, a leader in its industry. We were not without our differences. Not surprisingly, these differences and disagreements had virtually nothing to do with the direction and performance of the business. Instead, they were rooted in our perceptions of each other and the nature of the relationship we had between us.

Conflicts would occur less over what was said than what wasn't. We engaged Doud Hausner & Associates, in part, to help us learn to express our desires and needs to each other.

While Doud Hausner & Associates’s impact upon us was significant and immediate, the idea of accepting the advice of an "outsider" about our business and private lives was not accepted without debate and concern. What could they offer us? After all, we owned and managed a very successful and innovative company. We knew our business and what was best for it. Besides, they would just upset the status quo we each took so long trying to establish. ("Status quo" in our case was another way to say "balance of power"). Looking back, we could not have been further off track, and the results of our efforts proved that.

We entered the process with only two steadfast rules:

(1) to be open to new ideas; and

(2) to listen to each other. With Ernie and Lee's coaching we were able to peel back some of the old scars and perceptions that clouded our relationships and affected the performance and viability of our business. With commitment and continued work our communication improved. We became more effective as a management team and - more importantly - we grew stronger as a family.

Eventually, and based on a plan to which we all agreed, our business was sold - for all the right reasons and at multiples more than double the industry average. By approaching the future in accord rather than in anger, each family member was able to achieve the goals we established during our earlier work with Doud Hausner & Associates.

Today I have a wonderful opportunity to see family businesses from another perspective. Working as an Associate with Ernie, Lee and the other members of the Doud Hausner & Associates team I am able to see the process from both sides of the table. Through my involvement as a consultant and my past experience as a business owner, manager and family member I can empathize with both aspects of the process and better understand our clients' thought processes.

In my consulting role I see family businesses struggling with many of the same issues with which my siblings and I had to deal. In our family, our closeness to the problems often clouded our judgment and hid the obvious. It is easier for a knowledgeable "outsider" who hasn't lived the experience to moderate the intensity that family members feel when they struggle with long-standing issues that flow from family to business and back again. For families, however, their skepticism of outsiders can work against them - keeping the status quo in place and preventing the development of a healthier family/business relationship.

Based on my personal experience, the value of using qualified consultants to assist the family and the business cannot be overstated. In our family business we selected good consultants. They were instrumental in helping us achieve the goals that are common to all family businesses:

• Business prosperity;
• Family harmony; and
• Personal well-being.

It is both a privilege and a pleasure to be in a position to return the favor.